Anthony’s Way- The Road To Kindness: ADHD and Overcoming Tragedy

ADHD impacts over 6 million children and teenagers (ages 5 to 18). According to the Mayo Clinic, “ADHD includes a combination of persistent problems, such as difficulty sustaining attention, hyperactivity, and impulsive behavior. Children and teenagers with ADHD may also struggle with low self-esteem, troubled relationships, and poor performance in school. Symptoms sometimes lessen with age. However, some people never completely outgrow their ADHD symptoms.” If the family has the resources, kids can get help to learn strategies to deal with their ADHD struggles. Other families may not be able to afford this help and then their child may struggle with the many symptoms that come from having ADHD.

The most alarming and staggering statistic surrounding ADHD, according to Health Place Research, is that “those with ADHD have a 30% higher risk of attempting or dying by suicide!”  There are many reasons why, however, the reasons do not matter when it impacts a family.

Life often thrusts unexpected challenges upon us, pushing our limits and reshaping our paths. For our family, the profound loss of our son, Anthony, who struggled with ADHD and other learning difficulties, became the catalyst for a powerful mission. This is the story of how we turned our family tragedy into a vision aimed at providing holistic care and support for countless children and teenagers facing ADHD and their families. Additionally, Anthony’s kind, loving way fuels our vision to bring events that will raise kindness to new heights and help build unity and togetherness in our schools, communities, and organizations!

Anthony was a sensitive, loving boy who brightened a room with his contagious laughter. His warm heart made him everyone’s friend, always eager to share a smile. Despite his struggles, Anthony never harbored ill feelings and went out of his way to befriend new students, even when faced with the pain of sudden rejections.

Anthony’s journey took a turn when he was diagnosed with ADHD and Dysgraphia at seven years of age. Challenges surfaced, including hyperactivity and severe impulsivity. Then the bullying started by students that he thought were his friends. Anthony became sad and frustrated. Seeking professional help, we found a psychiatrist specializing in ADHD, who initiated a successful treatment plan. We were financially able to get Anthony the resources and help that he needed. As we got Anthony the help he needed, he discovered his talents in martial arts, singing, snowboarding and later, a profound love for cars and motorcycles.

Despite overcoming the challenges Anthony faced, his impulsiveness led to a heartbreaking loss. At 18 years of age and about to graduate high school, Anthony had secured a spot at Northwood University, ready to pursue Automotive Marketing & Management. Yet, one impulsive act, fueled by an emotional relationship, changed everything. The sadness not only rippled through our family but the school and community. The aftermath revealed the impact Anthony had on others, as hundreds shared stories of his kindness at his viewing – telling us about his kind way, that his smile made their day, and how he protected others against being bullied and watched over them. These words of Anthony’s kind and loving way were a blessing as they helped our family to make it through Anthony’s viewing.

Facing the unimaginable grief of losing a child, we sought guidance from a psychiatrist to navigate our differing grieving processes. Accepting the tragedy, we confronted a choice: let it consume us or channel our grief into positive action. We chose the latter and in Anthony’s eulogy; we made a vow to help children and families facing similar struggles.

After five years, we translated our grief into action, working to transform how ADHD and mental health are addressed. Our extensive research and collaboration with experts paved the way for a Holistic Care Model. This comprehensive approach addresses all the areas that kids struggling with ADHD and learning challenges need to not only survive but thrive. Our Holistic Care Model includes these services as each child or teenagers’ needs may vary:

1. ADHD Certified Life Coaches: provide the necessary skills to improve habits of daily living, academic success and create a safe place for these kids to work through their struggles and to find their unique talents.
2. Educational Advocates: address any concerns that are not being met by the school system for the child’s (student’s) development and learning.
3. Experienced Educational Tutors: assist in learning Math, English, and the languages.
4. Health and Fitness Professionals: encourage regular physical activities, creative pursuits, nutritional guidance, balance exercises that can improve focus, and extracurricular interests.
5. A College Preparatory Organization: SAT and ACT preparation and the college application and acceptance process.
6. Social and Situational Guidance and Training: help with real-life social interactions and skills, presentation training, guidance on dealing with social media, etc.
7. Kindness Scholarship: encourage these kids to do kind deeds to improve their community and to draw out their inherent kind way. Upon graduation, they may be eligible to receive a Kindness Scholarship.

For more details and information, visit www.anthonysroadtokindness.com.

Anthony’s kind way drives our belief that kindness and compassion can play a pivotal role in overcoming challenges. We embedded a Kindness Program / Movement into our Holistic Care Model, aiming to raise kindness to a whole new level. With this Kindness Program / Movement we encourage schools, communities, and organizations to CHOOSE KINDNESS 4 … kids with ADHD, and to just CHOOSE KINDNESS overall!

We have collaborated with schools in North Carolina, across the country, and in Canada to raise kindness to a whole new level by implementing a Kindness Workshop. The Kindness Workshop’s central purpose is to reinforce that it is COMPASSION that links us ALL TOGETHER! This is Anthony’s Way of BEING KIND! The Kindness Workshop is a team exercise that unites students with a common purpose of doing a KIND ACT for someone or a group of people. The Kindness Workshop has these five components:

1. Select and perform a Kind Act: a team of students come together and identify a kind deed that can bring value to another person or group.
2. Journalize and discuss the impact of your Kind Act: the impact that it had on you and on the person or group that you helped
3. Summarize your Kind Act on an Orange Heart: individually or as a team, everyone doing the Kind Act cuts out a heart using Orange Construction paper and summarizes their Kind Act on the Orange Heart. Orange is the color for Unity and Togetherness as symbolized in Anthony’s Way – The Road to Kindness Logo!
4. The Teams then Post their Orange Hearts on an Approved Wall: this creates a Wall of Orange Hearts of Kindness as represented below.
5. Take Pictures and Post them on Your School’s Social Media: this supports and demonstrates the school’s efforts to Raise Kindness to a Whole New Level! Please tag Anthony’s Road to Kindness.

The Kindness Workshops can be done any time of the year. There are three special times when the Kindness theme is at a high point:

• February – Random Acts of Kindness Week and Anthony’s nonprofit does a major event, Walk A Mile 4 Kindness & ADHD
• May – Mental Health Awareness Month
• October / November – ADHD Awareness Month, National Bully Prevention and World Kindness Day, November 13

Anthony’s Way – The Road to Kindness team is here to support any school that wants to participate in a Kindness Workshop! Please reach out to contact@anthonysroadtokindness.com.

In the face of our son’s loss, we turned grief into a force for good. We want our journey to serve as inspiration as these wonderful children need to experience a positive fulfilling life. Through our holistic care model, we aspire to illuminate a path of hope for children with ADHD and mental health struggles, keeping Anthony’s spirit alive in every life we touch. Let our family motto guide you:

“Today is the best day of your life, and tomorrow will be even better! And always remember that life is better with you!”

Parts of this article were included in both Attention Magazine, the national magazine of CHADD, in October 2023 for ADHD Awareness Month. Sections of this article were again published in Port City Daily as a part of Anthony’s Way’s- The Road to Kindness Walk nationwide Walk A Mile For Kindness & ADHD in February 2024. Anthony’s Way- The Road to Kindness Inc., in a 501(c)(3) nonprofit whose goal is to help children and teenagers with ADHD maintain a positive outlook on life and to understand the value of living and enjoying each day.