BY DAWN BAUMGARTNER VAUGHAN
dvaughan@heraldsun.com; 919-419-6563
DURHAM – Rashard Johnson is 19 years-old. He never had a father. He was abused as a child. He joined a gang for a family. He went to jail for stealing and was a convicted felon by 18.
For all the negativity behind him, Johnson is also an enthusiastic, optimistic, nice guy. He has a fiancé, Cheyenne Lucas. He cares about kids. He’s funny. But he’s got a hard road ahead for the rest of his life, and it’s hard for him believe that he is loved. Johnson doesn’t usually smile for photographs, which belies his engaging personality. More than just sharing his own story, he wants to turn his experience into action.
Johnson grew up surrounded by drugs, prostitution, HIV and violence. He never met his father, and he remembers just always wanting to be in a gang.
“I had abandonment issues,” he said. “I was known as the bad child – fighting, getting in trouble.” So when the guys he hung around – in the Folk gang – punched him in the chest to let him in, he was game. As a high school freshman in Raleigh, he was arrested for robbery. Gang members had an apartment in North Raleigh, where they had frequent parties.
Then he met Lucas, 17, and started, as he said, cooling down. Lucas wouldn’t have any of it. She’d seen enough trouble in her own family. Her mom, Alisha Robinson, is a recovering addict who spent time in prison. Lucas dropped out of school when her mom was locked up, and slept in cars and from house to house with Johnson.
“Outside he looks hard, but he’s soft inside,” Lucas said.
“Their bond began then,” said Robinson. “They are there completely for each other.” When Robinson returned home, Lucas and Johnson moved in. Johnson had distanced himself from the gang, but in the fall of 2010, stressed about bills, he fell back in with guys who were robbing houses in North Raleigh. It was quick money, and he wanted to show he could provide. Johnson was convicted of several felonies, including break and entering, larceny and receiving stolen goods.
At age 17, he spent three months in jail in Raleigh, including his 18th birthday, then probation. He didn’t hear from his friends in jail, just Lucas. He spent a lot of time alone with his thoughts. He said he became institutionalized.
“Jail time really changed me. What hit me is that I had something to care about, and something to lose,” Johnson said. “Someone loved me.”
Lucas visited and wrote letters.
“Everyone in my life has been locked up,” Lucas said. “But I never wrote them.”
In jail, Johnson read the Bible. He prayed.
“I felt like God was giving me a wake up call,” he said. A fellow inmate preached and told Johnson he had a talent for preaching, too.
“My first time speaking [in front of a group] was in jail,” he said.
This is Johnson’s testimony, and while he’s had his come-to-Jesus moment, difficulties still lie ahead.
After Johnson was released, he spent more time listening to Lil Wayne in his room than helping out around the house, and Robinson said he had to go. Lucas went with him. The couple was temporarily part of the EDGE program in Durham, where they found a place to live, but that ended. They are staying with a friend, but their housing future is unstable. Lucas dropped out of high school but completed her GED. Johnson hasn’t. In February, both of them were on a panel discussion called “Gangs and Faith” at the Holton Center on Driver Street. In March, they spoke at a meeting of the Religious Coalition for a Nonviolent Durham. In April, they went to the March Against Violence downtown. This week, they participated in Action for Children North Carolina’s Child and Family Advocacy Day in Raleigh.
The couple is very open about their lives today, their past and what they want for the future. They’ve attended services at two churches multiple times a week, but don’t have a set church home right now. As someone with felony convictions, Johnson has a hard time getting a job and a place to live.
“I feel like I can relate to a lot of people,” he said. “I didn’t feel loved by my family. I ran to the streets, replacing my mother or father figure. I didn’t get that kind of love.”
Johnson’s goals for the future are the American Dream.
“I want a family, to be successful, to not worry about bills. I want to do what God calls me to do,” he said.
“I just want our own place,” Lucas said. “Live how we’re supposed to, worship when we want to, and help people.” She wants to go to college.
Johnson does too, for business management and interior design.
“I want to be myself. I want to set an example,” Johnson said. “There’s not a lot of kids speaking out about their gang, their life.” He will.
Johnson wants to wins souls for the kingdom. “God lets the devil test you to be where you are. I’m proud of where I’m at,” he said. Temptation is there, and when it comes he listens to gospel music. Plus, Lucas’ faith in him has kept him up, Johnson said.
He thinks he lived the life he did for a reason, and if he encounters former gang members, he’ll tell them how it is – that now he wants to do church outreach. He’s looking for a church or team to go out with into the community.
On Thursday, he took his new role as advocate to the state government, at Child and Family Advocacy Day at the General Assembly. There was a Raise the Age rally outside the Legislative Building, then they watched a Senate session and met a legislator. Raise the Age would change the current law that automatically treats 16- and 17-years-olds as adults on misdemeanor charges.
The highlight of the day was meeting Durham’s Rep. Henry M. “Mickey” Michaux Jr., who made time for their impromptu visit and heard Lucas and Johnson advocate for Raise the Age. Michaux supports it, and said a key to the issue is expunging records.
“I’m trying to be involved in the community,” Johnson told Michaux in the representative’s office.
“You’ve got an impressive start on it,” Michaux told him.
After the short meeting, Johnson said he felt like Michaux was a granddad who listened and understood him.
“This was a great experience – a 19-year-old black man coming here and meeting a representative. It’s one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had,” Johnson said. “I shook someone’s hand who shook Martin Luther King’s hand and Obama’s hand.”
As Michaux left his office for a House vote, Johnson wondered aloud if he could be important one day, too.