Post Author
Carmello Gilliam Jr.
NC Child Youth Advocacy Council
Carmello Gilliam Jr. is a member of the NC Child Youth Advocacy Council. For our blog, he’s sharing his perspective about the rise in young people concerned with being “nonchalant” and its impact on youth mental health.
“Nonchalant.” It’s a word that echoes through schools, social media, and music—a word that has somehow become a symbol of strength among young people. To be nonchalant means to not care, to appear unbothered, detached, and above it all. But beneath this calm exterior lies a growing problem: the glorification of not caring reflecting a deeper loss of emotional awareness among today’s youth.
For many teens, being nonchalant isn’t confidence—it’s self-protection. It’s easier to act like nothing matters than to admit that something hurts. The idea of being “unbothered” becomes a shield against rejection, disappointment, and vulnerability. Yet the more we hide behind that shield, the more disconnected we become from who we truly are.
When emotions are silenced, they don’t disappear; they transform. What looks like peace often hides sadness. What sounds like indifference is often exhaustion. And what feels like control is sometimes just avoidance. The pressure to seem nonchalant teaches young people to suppress instead of express—to bury pain rather than face it.
This mindset doesn’t build maturity; it prevents it. Emotional maturity requires the courage to feel, to reflect, and to communicate. When we avoid emotion, we lose the ability to understand ourselves and others. We grow numb, detached, and unsure of how to connect in a real way.
There is also a dangerous contradiction in how this idea is applied, especially among young men. Society is finally moving away from phrases like “men don’t cry,” yet we replace them with new ones—“be nonchalant,” “don’t care,” “stay solid.” It’s the same message wrapped in different words: emotions are weakness. But denying emotions doesn’t make anyone strong; it only deepens the silence that so many already struggle to escape.
True strength isn’t found in indifference. It’s found in honesty—in allowing yourself to feel deeply and still move forward. Being vulnerable isn’t a flaw; it’s proof that you’re alive, human, and willing to grow.
The nonchalant attitude might seem appealing in a world that glorifies detachment, but real peace doesn’t come from pretending not to care. It comes from embracing emotion, understanding pain, and learning to express it with courage and clarity.
When we stop performing indifference and start choosing authenticity, we make space for something far more powerful than being “unbothered.” We make space for healing, connection, and the kind of strength that lasts.